Hindi Jokes

Kya Tum Ek Haath Se…

Ek ladki apny boy friend k sath nai car main long drive par ja rahi thi achanak ladki kehnay lagi, “suno ! kya tum ek haath se garri chala saktay ho ?”

“Kyun nahi” ,ladkay ne baday fakher se kaha.

Ladki ne aahista se kaha, “to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo.”

Opener

Question: Dhoni asks Rohit to bring a Pepsi. Rohit brings the bottle, but takes it directly to Shewag.

Why?
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Ans: Because Shewag is an opener.

2 sardar jees going fishing

There were 2 Sardar Jees going for fishing. One of the Sardar Jee notices a boy drowning. He looks up to the sky and says “Hey Raba please protect the small boy“

The other Sardar Jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy.

When the Sardar Jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people hassurrounded him.

The Sardar Jee asks nervesuoly “Oh Gee Hoya?“

The man, who was a producer replies “Tu meri shooting kurab gurthee“

Hai koi jawaab???

A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.

The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, “Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?”

Hai koi jawaab???

Do aankhe battis daante

Saas: Khuda ne tumhe do aankhe di hai, Chawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti kya?

Bahu: Khuda ne tumhe battis daant diye hai do char 2-4 patthar nahi chabba sakti kya!!!

Sandal nikalu kya?

Boy : Jaan-e-man… ees dil me aaja na!

Girl : Sandal nikalu kya?

Boy : Pagli, yeh mandir nahi… aise hi aaja!!

Larki mehnati hoti hai

Research ke mutabiq larkian larkon se zyada mehnati hoti hai
Aapko pata hai kaise??
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Nahi pata
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Main bata deta hoon aapko

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Main bata deta hoon aapko
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Kyun ki
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100 mein se 10
Larkia’n naturally
khoobsurat hoti hai
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Aur baki
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Apni Mehnat se…

Maa banne wali hoon

Ek bar ek chitti ne Hathani ke kan mein kuch kaha toh hathni behos ho gayi.

Phir kisine chitti se pucha ke tune kya kaha?

Chitti Boli: Maine itna hi kaha ke “Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hoon!”

If you will try to kiss

Girl : If you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungi

Boy : Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl : I know per formality to karni hi padegi.

Ek tha Raja

Ek tha Raja…

Ek tha Raja…

Ek thi Rani…

Donon mar gaye khatam kahani.

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Neechay kya lash dhoond rahay ho??? Bola na kahani khatam.

Maa aur baap

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.

Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,

Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!

Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.

Andey aur bacche

Teacher: Zameen par rehne wali janwer bacche deti hai, Hawa mein urne wali andey deti hai!
Woh konsi cheez hai jo hawa mai bhi urti hai or bacche bhi deti hai??

Student: “Air Hostess!”

Dur nahi dikhta

Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.

Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?

Son: Suraj

Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.

Ka karat ho?

Rabri : Ka karat ho?
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!

Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.

Ek gharwali aur….

Pandit : Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiya aayengi.

Thambu : Wow, kya baat hai.

Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai..